Tuesday, June 19, 2012


I remember the first time I realized it
was beating. Yes, the spine beats too

from the inside out just like
the heart. The beating of the spine is

an articulate rhythm of longing. It is a pounding with
words attached—words that are engraved on your vertebrae. 

Your future as part of your history.
Every potential moment perdure.

The spine is where the desire for a life less ordinary lives.

It was November of 1989 and I was in a movie theater
waiting for a film to start.

A film starring Shirley MacLaine and Julia Roberts
and other actors I can’t remember. These details

are not important. What matters is that it came to me then,
sitting in that theater all by myself.

I dreamed up the person I wanted to be
and I set about becoming her.

Promising myself I would never lead
an inconsequential life.

This is one promise
I have kept.

Knowing who you want to be
is often more important than knowing what.

We all have this wisdom
living in the bones of our backs

some dying a little every day
to get out.

It is impossible to be great by accident.

And the bones always ask for more.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012


To my darling lover- 

When I was a seed in the ground you were the sun and the water that helped me out of the dirt. Weeds can be beautiful too. Like the dandelions you pick for me on your bike rides. But you know this already, don’t you? You’ve known all along, instinctively, all the things it took me years to learn. You know that wild flowers are not born with broken hearts, and that love songs are not battle songs or songs of fear, they are gospel songs and symphonies. Thank you for always being where you were meant to be, even when I was lost. Thank you for being smart back when I was being so unbelievably stupid. Thank you for biding your time when I was wasting mine. Thank you for never disappointing me no matter how many times I may have disappointed you. Thank you for never being afraid of my passion or your own. Thank you for recognizing the value of independence and individuality, and for never asking me to be anyone except exactly who I am. Thank you for living life and love with the bravery and strength of a hero. Thank you for being a cartographer of that love, and for using my body as the map. On our own we are two bright stars in a vast and lonesome sky. Together we are a constellation. A long and crooked road can still lead to a promised land. The past is a house that has burned down, so far behind us we can no longer see the smoke nor taste the ashes. Not that we look back anyway. Ours is a journey facing right now. Fluid. Impermanent. Beautiful. Evolving. Unknown. Every blink is a beginning. Every hungry kiss an adventure. This is as easy as breathing and as difficult as climbing a mountain. I am your artist and your muse and your lascivious partner in crime. Inspired by your goodness. Humbled by your greatness. Warmed by your kindness. Drenched by your desire. I love you with the grace of an angel and the courage of an astronaut. We do not belong to each other we belong to this moment and this moment belongs to us.

We surrender.

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