Tuesday, June 19, 2012

THE FIRST TIME I FELT MY SPINE



I remember the first time I realized it
was beating. Yes, the spine beats too

from the inside out just like
the heart. The beating of the spine is

an articulate rhythm of longing. It is a pounding with
words attached—words that are engraved on your vertebrae. 

Your future as part of your history.
Every potential moment perdure.

The spine is where the desire for a life less ordinary lives.

It was November of 1989 and I was in a movie theater
waiting for a film to start.

A film starring Shirley MacLaine and Julia Roberts
and other actors I can’t remember. These details

are not important. What matters is that it came to me then,
sitting in that theater all by myself.

I dreamed up the person I wanted to be
and I set about becoming her.

Promising myself I would never lead
an inconsequential life.

This is one promise
I have kept.

Knowing who you want to be
is often more important than knowing what.

We all have this wisdom
living in the bones of our backs

some dying a little every day
to get out.

It is impossible to be great by accident.

And the bones always ask for more.


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