I remember the first time I realized it
was beating. Yes, the spine beats too
from the inside out just like
the heart. The beating of the spine is
an articulate rhythm of longing. It is a
pounding with
words attached—words that are engraved
on your vertebrae.
Your future as part of your history.
Every potential moment perdure.
The spine is where the desire for a life
less ordinary lives.
It was November of 1989 and I was in a
movie theater
waiting for a film to start.
A film starring Shirley MacLaine and
Julia Roberts
and other actors I can’t remember. These
details
are not important. What matters is that
it came to me then,
sitting in that theater all by myself.
I dreamed up the person I wanted to be
and I set about becoming her.
Promising myself I would never lead
an inconsequential life.
This is one promise
I have kept.
Knowing who you want to be
is often more important than knowing what.
We all have this wisdom
living in the bones of our backs
some dying a little every day
to get out.
It is impossible to be great by
accident.
And the bones always ask for more.
* * *
i have no wisdom, no spine, not many nerves,
ReplyDeletei am nothing more than an invertebrate, a cosmic worm...
one who knows some lines, some platonic curves,
the way into some men's and women's heart, and mind, and soul - some, but not all...
i am accused of being a plastic god, a phallus of false, raping religiosity; male and female - not true, i am spirit...
and yet there is some truth there, having been born of a woman impregnated by a man, how can i be less than a god of my gods...
or, as some say 'a child of mankind and their god' but what in Hades, or Heaven, or Earth, does that really mean? And ultimately, what's the fucking difference...
Except, that i, have come here to beg your forgiveness, which is all a true cosmic worm ever wants, needs, loves, or can ever really desire - or give to another.
"...We all have this wisdom
Deleteliving in the bones of our backs..." Trixie.
Actually, I have come to believe we have it (wisdom, intelligence, knowledge, etc.) in every living cell of our living bodies -- including our brain cells. Guess I should start using my own, more often. Not complaining, but two years is a long time to endure without a Shine Poem. SWH